Thing I've Learned #77: Don't Hit Your Kid or He'll Become a Serial Killer

Today's lecture in forensics was "The Macdonald Triad, or, Mrs. Stevens Notes on Parenting." Basically, it covered two things:
One, if you beat your child and destroy his self confidence, you're setting him up for a future of murder.
Two, children understand more than you think.

Is this significant? No, not really. Not until you have kids, at least. It was just something I learned.

In other news, going to New York today to spend the weekend with family I don't particularly like. And that I just saw a week ago. Extended family is a necessary evil, I understand and accept this fact. However, that comes with the acknowledgement that you are only supposed to see them at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and maybe one or two other assorted times throughout the year. Twice in a week...that's a little much for a girl to handle. Especially when they are drunk and/or Catholic and one of your cousins is a lesbian and no one wants to talk about it which makes for awkward conversations and the littlest ones are screaming annoyances and the middle ones are preteen brats and all you want to do is sit and read your books and have FIVE MINUTES OF PEACE AND QUIET. FIVE MINUTES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

I love my family. I really do. But they are Italian and I wish they had a volume button.

Thing I've Learned #76: The Smallest Things Can Make You the Happiest

Every time I read Captain's Surrender, I squeak. I must have read it three, four, five times by now, and everytime, I positively squeal at the words, "Peter Kenyon, will you marry me?"

It's gotten to the point where I read the book just for the pleasure of those six words.

It's a silly thing, really. A mere trifle. And yet every time, it delights me to the core. I can't help but grin from the sheer romance of it. The beauty of it, just...oh!

If you have something like that, something silly and simple that makes you so happy you could cry...well, that's special. Don't ever let it go.

Thing I've Learned #75: Historical Drama is Way Better Than Real Life Drama

Allow me to present two facts today.

Thing Number One: I have spent my entire high school career avoiding drama.

Thing Number Two: Today Sarah and I watched the premiere episode of The Borgias.

These things may seem unrrealated, but I assure you they are not. First of all, let me say that I wholly approve of this show. (So far.) It's rare that actors portray historical figures the way I perceive them in my head, and with the exception of maybe two people, Borgias is spot on. Juan is perhaps the best. Slimy, rotten cockroach. Perfect!

But how does this tie into the lack of drama in my life? As proof that we have no social life, my friends and I gossip about historical persons more than real living people. For instence, Sarah and I spent much of the show muttering about how Lucrezia needed to jump off a cliff and Giulia Farnese is such a whore. Just like "normal" teenagers do when they watch Gossip Girls, or whatever it is high school girls watch these days. Historical drama is really the only drama I can tolerate. Girls that sit around whining about their boyfriends or skip class to go sob in the bathroom, I just want to punch them in the face and be like, WOW, GET A LIFE.

So, at the end of the day, I went home and read Cantarella. Oh, Cesare Borgia <3 Please marry me.

Thing I've Learned #74: Everyone Awesome is Going to Die Before I Get to Meet Them

FIRST BRIAN JACQUES, NOW DIANA WYNNE JONES?! WHAT THE FUCK?! I'd better hurry up and publish a novel before ALL THE AWESOME WRITERS OF THE WORLD DROP FRIGGIN DEAD! SERIOUSLY GOD, KNOCK IT OFF! WHO'S NEXT, SHERWOOD FREAKING SMITH?

No. Knock on wood. I never said that. Don't even think about it.

Thing I've Learned #73: Angels Are Badass

Been readin' me some Paradise Lost. And finally got around to reading Cassandra Clare's City of Glass, which has been sitting on my shelf for approximately half a year. And you know what? I don't buy that angels-sitting-on-fluffy-white-clouds-playing-serene-harp-music crap. Nuh uh. Uh, hello? They're like God's army. Hosts of heaven and flaming swords and all that. They're supposed to be scary. "Haha, Lucifer, my hoards of lovely women dressed in white will sing you to death!" Um, no. Just no. They're that good kind of frightening. The kind of frightening that makes your jaw drop in awe, but also makes you think you don't ever, ever want to piss them off.

More beautiful and terrible than the dawn. But I digress, that's Tolkien, not Milton.

Thing I've Learned #72: I Do Not Like the Nose Pot

I think I'm getting a sinus infection. Boo.

I've had a headache for like a week now. And I never get headaches. My head just feels like...asdjfhdufhadkfjgdf. Just like that. Plus my temperature is like 99. Which isn't exactly a fever but not exactly normal either. Maybe I just run warm. Or I'm unknowingly incubating aliens. Yeah. It's probably that.

So you've probably heard of the weird mini teapot that you use to pour saline through you sinuses? I hate it. So much. And I don't really get its purpose anyway. Clean out your sinuses? IT'S SALT WATER. TAKE A DECONGESTANT. So why did I use it? I really don't even know. Vain hope. And the fact that I already took a decongestant. Damn you, pseudophedrine and phenylephrine. Damn you to hell.

Can you tell that I'm not feeling well? The less well I feel the less sense I make. I'm liable to start spouting off nonsense about, oh I don't know, combustible bunnies or some such nonsense.

Thing I've Learned #71: Sometimes It's Good to Stress Over Little Things

Hey there blog world, it's been a while! What prompted this sudden returned to online ranting? Who knows. But it's good to get things off your chest, one way or another. Got the last of my college letters yesterday. From Brown. Didn't get in. Annoyed, yes. Devastated, no. In a way I'm almost glad. It makes my decision that much easier. So, now I'm 99.9% sure I'll be going to Ohio Wesleyan University. Of which I love everything about except the Ohio part. Ah well, two out of three ain't bad.

Now that I'm done fretting and worrying over college decisions, I can stress over something much more mundane and feminine: Prom dresses! Considering ordering one online, but it's coming from Hong Kong so I don't know if it'll be here in time, but so far I hate all the ones I've found in stores...so, minor stressing ensues. No big. It's nice to worry about something inconsequential for once.

In other news, it's spring break this week, and the weather is positively rotten. Way to go, Florida. Also, I have a shitload of retarded AP Lit homework to do. Eh, I think I'll go watch a movie.