Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Thing I've Learned #10: My Mother Drives The Yeti

So I drove home from the barn today. I hate driving. Especially in traffic. Every time a car passes me or pulls up behind me I start chanting "Don't touch me don't touch me don't touch me..." in my head. Seriously, driving scares the pee out of me. I'm deathly afraid of being in an accident. Even more so now that five people I know have been in an accident in the past two weeks, and my mother and I were almost part of one twice. Supplementing this fear is the fact that I've had nightmares about driving ever since I was little. I had one last night, actually. A cop tried to shoot me because I parked in the wrong space. It was terrifying.

But that is not what I have learned today. My mother's car is a beast. Not beast, A beast. It's a Mazda cx-9 affectionately referred to as the Momzda. That is not what I drive. I drive her old car, a Subaru outback. Anyway, I walked by the white monstrosity in the garage today, and patted it absentmindedly, calling it "the white beast." It occurred to me that a name like that makes it a Yeti of sorts. It has now been dubbed "Snowbeast."

My poor little Subaru does not have a name.

In other news, I get to rant about my characters now, because one of them just got a name today, and that excites me. Allow me to explain a little something first: when the concept of a character is first born, a name is not necessarily attached. Characters choose their own name in time; this is a process that cannot be rushed. Which, let me tell you, is quite annoying as a writer. But it is what it is, and a character's name being discovered is a cause for much celebration amongst writerly friends. Back to said character. He decided his name is Desirata de le Mar, and he is an obnoxious bitch. I know its kind of a strange and girly name, but that's why I like it. You hear it and you think, "Come on, no one is ACTUALLY named that." He's a minor character who's sole purpose in the story (and perhaps in his entire life) is to antagonize Ciro, my nobleman main character, and torment Ciro's servant/best friend/ex-whore, Ha'ri. And to throw temper tantrums. You can't have an obnoxious, bitchy nobleman who doesn't throw temper tantrums. It's unheard of. You know, Desirata is starting to remind me of Saith a bit. This frightens me in a not altogether unpleasant way. Saith, by the way, is a character from a different story who's sole purpose is to cause trouble, look sexy, act bitchy, and provide an "creative outlet" for Donae's sexual frustration.

Oh lord. I just read that last sentence and it sounds like the back of a slutty romance novel! I should go die now. But it's not my fault that Donae and Saith happen to be the two sluttiest characters in that particular story. Actually, you know, they're pretty much my two sluttiest characters ever. (Especially Donae.) But it's not my fault! Donae is the demon of lust. And Saith, being demon of envy, just wants what 'Nae has and is therefore a sycophant. I plead not guilty! Not guilty!

But back to Desirata. As Sarah said once, "Come to the dark side, we have power, sex, and eternal glory." Which is not completely true, considering the third item is often reserved for the hero that defeats said convert to the dark side, but it's an excellent phrase nonetheless. Des certainly has the first two. Maybe he's a prince? I'm not sure. He's certainly an aristocrat, and possibly Spitalian. Which is Spanish and Italian, for those of you who are slow like me. Cesare Borgia is Spitalian too, but I'll save that historical/fangirl rant for another day. :D Right, we're talking about my characters, right! Haha. Well, Des has black hair pulled back in a ponytail and green eyes, he's pretty, but he's got a mean look to him too, if those two things can go together. It irks me, how well I can see my word children in my head, but how bad I am at describing them. It now occurs to me that I've been rambling. A summary: Desirata is a nobleman. He is a snotty bastard. He is also very beautiful but an utter ass. He like to beat up my main character, which makes him the bad guy. Well, that got a lot more accomplished a lot quicker. I apologize for my pointless and slightly idiotic rant.

A final note: we were suppose to record ourselves more in Chinese today. My group drew zombies and dinosaurs on a piece of paper.

No comments:

Post a Comment