Monday, September 14, 2009

Thing I've Learned #2: Mermaids Go "Mehr! Mehr!"

People say funny things when they think no one else is listening. I admit I am guilty of this. Today at lunch my friends E.B., Sarah, and I were discussing the mating call of a mermaid, which sounds something like "Mehr!" How do we know this? E.B.'s married to the mermaid prince, of course. It's kind of a long story which involves the first day of the worst week of my life and 17 dead jellyfish. That aside, it didn't occur to us that the noises we were making were not normal by any definition of the word until we got a strange look or two from passers-by. On the flip side, from one of said passers-by we caught the phrase, "Who's pregnant?!"

But that is not, by any means, the strangest thing I've casually and accidentally eavesdropped. Take this, for example. Sarah and I were walking down the hall to class and heard from behind us, one guy say to another, "My pants are falling down, pull them up for me." And you know when that sudden, often awkward silence descends on the classroom out of nowhere? You can usually catch the end of someones sentence, and it is often quite amusing.

As a result of my tendency to listen in on other's conversations, I often wonder what said other's think, hearing mine.
"He cut her up and hid her in a tree, right?"
"No, he only stabbed her."

"If he had a baby, it would be a girl."
"Nonono, he's asexual, it would have to be a boy!"

"So, they do end up sleeping together."
"Finally! Was it earth shattering?"

"There's mermaid sperm floating around in the ocean!"

"Your intestines are MINE!"

"It's a, you know..."

Case in point.

In other news, my day at a glance: today in choir I was asked to draw a picture of what sound my choir teacher, Mr. Linfors, Linfors, The Linfors-Be-With-You, makes. I drew a stick figure with claws yelling "RAWR!" I win. The idiots sitting at my table in Biology lost our lab report. Hello, zero. Math was a fail as usual. Sarah distracted me with sexy Italians, but I persevered and finished an entire page of homework. My willpower is heroic. My APUSH teacher thinks my name is Emily. In AP Lang...nothing exciting happened. In Chinese, we defied Mrs. Sun as usual. Mohammad ate an entire head of lettuce in approximately one bite. I discussed Optimus Prime with Caelin, and zombies with Einstein. Five minutes ago, I changed my Facebook language to Pirate. Best decision of my life.

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